peer review

Ms. Moody,

 

            After peer reviewing our introductions to our memoirs, and receiving feedback from a classmate, I have been able to plan out the rest of my memoir, as well as revising what I have written already. First off my partner for the peer review said that he could not tell what my memoir was going to be about from my introduction, so another paragraph will be added to my introduction to help clarify the direction this story is going. In the next paragraph I will continue to describe the main character, Wes. He is the character the story revolves around, with his death, so his character needs to be built up so his death can be seen as tragic as it is. My partner also said that he could not find dialogue, so I will add some dialogue as the story continues. I will use the moment that Keith’s mom calls us to give us the news of his death and incorporate dialogue into this part of the story. I will have dialogue of him and his mom speaking over the phone in front of me. From the point in which I left off, I plan to describe Wes some more and continue finishing the story I started about Wes. After the character is built up and the understanding of my relationship to him is established, then I will talk about his death and give that story. After I have finished all the story’s and talk about Wes, I will then go into detail on how this has effected myself. My peer review partner also liked my use of exposition so I will continue to use that, and leave the exposition I currently have in my writing. He also said I use good visuals and am descriptive so I will also continue to be descriptive.

 

 

                        -Taylor Nielsen